Mean? This is called 'Protecting'.

Seems like in this academic year I have been pushing out several guys from my life.

Now, note that I do have good friends that are guys. In fact, my childhood friend is a guy. And up to today, we are still in contact and have a relatively good friend based relationship.

(Another thing to note. I have an elder brother that is 2year older than me and is like my best-est guy friend ever.)

However, there are times when I feel like its the breaking point and that I really cannot stand being even friends with that person.

Within my Freshman year. I have pushed 3 guys out of my life.

When I do things of such nature, it's usually when they:
(1) Cross the line
(2) make me feel uncomfortable (unsafe)

GuyA; although a little later he did do something that really pissed me off. But right from the start, I didn't have a very good impression of him. He just is not give me the feeling that I would be safe with him.

For him, I felt that I felt such a lack of security when I was near him was because he lacked confidence. You know how they say that a guy that is not scared of death is the most scariest guy? I feel that it's really the same with guys that do not possess confidence. It just give me a sense of insecurity.

So I would rather be safe and just stay away.

GuyB; he crossed the line.

He continuously said that I was over reacting. And he was successful to prove that he was 'right' which in the process teared me down.

Words kill; don't you know? Everytime he said that I was overreacting, he was essentially creating doubt. And what's worse is he's making me doubt myself, and more importantly my judgement.

In other words; he destroyed my confidence.

A good friend should be one who builds you up. Not one that tears you down. If anybody tears you down; do yourself a favor and get away from that person.

GuyC; he made me feel not safe.

Before, I had a slight discomfort when I was with him. But it was a come and go thing. However, the ultimatum came when I had a dream.

In my dream, when I announced that I had a boyfriend. He immediately got violent with me. And as though that wasn't enough, he raised his hand against my boyfriend.

When I woke up, I just felt super unsafe. And something in me was telling me that I could not stay close to him.

And that was what I did.

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Am I being mean or what? Honestly. I don't feel so.

There are somethings where I agree that we should be considerate and think of the other party. But there are times where yourself should come first.

People say, better be safe then be sorry no?

Take GuyA and C for example. If let's say I ignore the feelings of being not safe around them and something were to happen to me. How would you want me to react then? What do you think would people's reaction be if I told them what happened and also that I initially already did not feel safe around GuyA and C. What would their reply, I wonder.

Wouldn't they say I deserved it? Cause I continued being in contact with somebody that I do not feel safe with.

So what am I doing wrong? I'm just protecting myself.

Isn't the adage "better safe than sorry" a commonly used one?

If its so commonly used, doesn't it mean that there is truth in this saying? So why call one mean when they are just protecting themselves and playing the safe card rather than placing themselves in potential danger?

Humans possess this instinct where they can sense when they are in danger. In my opinion, the moment you feel that you aren't safe around someone, I would really encourage you to leave that person and distant yourself.

We must take charge of our own safety. If you yourself don't protect yourself, who will?

There's no nobility in putting others feelings before your safety.

Stay Safe
CHLOÉ