the KETTLE is hot. Either you strike or get stroke.

On the bus home from chorale. Today had a fun time in chorale. There are like 2 events that I would love to highlight. One is a honor for me. Another is something that I really want to hide from and just bury myself under my blanket and sleep away the memory. Not that I can't. But what's the fun of hiding stuff that can make your day brighter? Everybody has embarrassing moments. How severe your embarrassment is just depends on how you handle it.

So what do you want first? Hearing my earth-swallow worthy story or my croon-worthy story? Or would you rather chronological order?

Well lets go for chronological order shall we? So according to the timing that the 2 events happen, my embarrassing moment comes first. So here it goes... Feel free to laugh. Like it doesn't really matter. If telling you my embarrassing moment will bring you a smile, then for you (:

Now so we are doing this song called Luk Luk Lumbu and Darius ask for volunteers to form a choreograph team. (OH GOD. Even typing it makes me laugh with embarrassment.)

And for a while, like a super LONG while after, people finally volunteered. And then Darius said in a super (I feel) mad voice "stand up." And I stood up. Turned out he was asking those who had volunteered to... Yeah complete my sentence.

Lets have a minute of silence to commemorate the passing of my reputation that had died actually way before this thing.

WELL and of course I gasped and was like "Wait? Why am I standing." And guess what, everybody laughed. At me. Oh gosh. That was so embarrassing and FUNNY at the same time. So after awhile, while they were still clapping, I tried my best to pick up whatever pride I had by waving. Haha. And of course thank them for laughing at the joke. (:

Sometimes, I do the most embarrassing stuff EVER (like wearing a near translucent pants out. GOD. Never forgetting that...), not purposely, but like by accident. And every single time I wish the ground would just slide open and swallow me. But of course we know, that wouldn't happen.

If the law of nature permitted, I would gladly bury my head in the ground. Just like an ostrich. But of course, it is impossible. Hence what I say?

Strike when the kettle is hot.

Seems like a misuse of an idiom. But I don't think so. I mean my stand is that the joke isn't really me. Is what I DID. So I don't really mind laughing at myself for what I did especially when it is THAT EMBARRASSING AND YKNOW? LAUGH WORTHY. I mean if it was someone else, I would have laughed my ass of. So instead of being a sulky pot, why not laugh with it and make it into a good laugh? (: like that EVERYBODY also will be happy. Hahah. But of course after awhile, the embarrassment slipped away and back to normal. (: *coughs.

Now that is ALL for my embarrassing moment. Now is for my LOVELY moment!

I might be singing a solo part in this concert! :DD

HAHA! What happen was that for the piece Cantate Domino, there are like 2 'solo' parts. The first solo is taken by the Sopranos and the second solo is taken by the Altos. But due to unforeseen changes, the first solo part has been passed to us, Alto. And Darius wants TWO from Alto to sing this part.

And as always, we were asked if there was any volunteers. And Qing Yee was the first one to volunteer.

You know, to be seriously honest, I want to do the solo. I mean its an opportunity. How many times do an alto get a solo? Huh? Rarely! So it's like such a rare chance. I hesitate was to see if any of the seniors wants to do it. Cause I think that's only polite right? Cause seniors will graduate early. So technically speaking we could always have other chances for a solo.

When I saw that nobody raised up my hand, I was like "okay, gonna do this." And before I raised my hand, I saw Dian (my sectional leader) looking at me and when our gaze met, she asked me if I was up for it. And I nodded like super excitedly.

The thing about solo is that cause there is very little people seeing, the individual become super important. It's especially so when everybody starting note depends on your ending note.

But intimidating as it seems, I believe that this will spur my growth. It's like an opportunity to grow even further is dangling right in front of your eyes. If you want to do it, why not?

Like what Pocahontas sings "How high the sycamore. If you cut it down you will never know."

In life, there are multiple first time. Every fast runner begin with a small step. The thing is if you are scared to fall, you will never be able to run. So if you are given the opportunity to run, why not?

Strike when the kettle is hot.

Lots of Love;
CHLOÉ

Confession, confessions. "Pessimistic vs Realistic"

He make me laugh like no other.

With him, all somehow is good. I try my best. I perhaps want your approval. I perhaps want you to look at me. I perhaps just want your attention.

It doesn't really matter if its just a glance. The feeling still remains. That gulf of warmth that subdues me and somehow prevents my lungs from taking a new gulp of air.

It's strange. But somehow I welcome it? It's like my little guilty pleasure? I crave for it more and more. Perhaps this is what I'm looking forward for every time I see you. Your gaze. The same fleeting gaze.

I think I will melt if you looked straight at me longer then a glance.

But, what can I do? Except tell myself to get a grip. Cause this is just a fantasy. And fantasy never come alive. Never did, never will.

This is the rule of life that never change despite eras of destruction, construction and reconstruction. Deaths and passing of kings and queens. Rise and fall of powerful nations that seized entire control of a particular colony. Despite how many years pass, as long as the sun rises from the east and sets from the west, fantasies will remain solely in dreamland.

Once or twice, the dream will come alive. But I would rather believe in the thousand times that it didn't than get my hope up for that small glimmer of hope.

I'm not being pessimistic. Just realistic. The world isn't sprinkled with fairy dust. Every one of us have the right to know that the world isn't a Disney princess movie where everybody lives happily ever after.

Life is never fair, life is never kind. Therefore, for now, this shall continue to remain a mystery for reality.

And while typing this post, guess what happens? My crush came up the bus. Pshhhh.

MON NOM

I have a Korean name now! Haha! Me and Priscina came out with it. (: it's called 류혜진. Haha! I had a rather tough time trying to think out of a name. A Korean name especially. Cause firstly I do not knw anything abt the Korean language. And secondly I want it to match my actually name. So aft mch deliberation, I finally decided to settle fr the name 류혜진 (Ryu Hye Jin). When written in hanja will be 柳惠眞. Keke!

Now why did we suddenly had the idea. It's actually a "long" story. It all started with a twitter convo tht me and Priscina had. So at one portion she was lik twitting me why wont I believe her. Thn I'm lik cause I'm not yr darling'. Keke. Thn she was lik ohyeah. S'ok, we can be chojae(?) thn I'm lik wht is tht? Thn she was lik oh it means sister-in-law. Thn I was lik LOLOL! If we are sister in law, tht means ur hubby (weimin) is my brother. So thts how this whole family thing came abt. Haha! And jus tday she was saying tht it's so weird to call me dongsaeng cause it's so weird. Thn I'm lik actually u dunnid to address me w a title cause in e family, I'm younger thn her in r family hierarchy. So Priscina was lik. Yah, she can actually call me by my name. But I dn have a Korean name she can call me by. Thn I was lik lolol. Thn help me create. Haha! But tht wasn't rlly the driving force. Wht rlly made me think of one was whn Priscina ask me to read her ff on this website called wattpad.com. And in order to access the app, I needa sign in. So I made an account and was lik hey why not mke this the debut of my Korean name (; lolol!

So all along I wanted my names to be related to my actual name. And case Chloé is hard to actually convert it to Korean, so we decided to make it a traditional name w surname and all(:

So all the while I knew tht if I wanted to use my Chinese name, I wanted a 惠 in it. Oh. As u might knw, my Chinese name is 陈祖惠. And apparently, 惠 is e only one tht can be translated into various languages and still sound okay. Fr example, it can be read as megumi, megumu, kei and e. and whts mre, it's related to my actual name. So thts e first hangul character I looked for. And it came out to be hye (혜) so I stuck w it. Next I was super set on choosing my surname. So I immediately searched google for the Korean reading of the hanja 陈 and it came out to be jin (진). Thn Priscina was askin me if tht is even a Korean surname. So anxious me, went to search up if its a surname. And it turned out tht it is! So I happily placed tht as the surname. Thn as u cn prolly see, my first hangul is jin. Second hangul is hye. So I was lik if the third hangul started w "f" it will be lik "f, h, j" lolol. Thn it will be so cool! Hahah! But Priscina said tht there's no f in hangul. So I'm lik okay thn I will choose l thn it will be lik "j, h, l" lolol! Thn Priscina said tht "l" is sometimes also pronounced as "r" Thn aft awhile of thinkin and much more thinkin, I realized tht there's a surname tht is ryu (류 - 柳). Thn idk why. I suddenly felt lik moving jin frm e surname to the last one. So I went to find if there is other hanja tht is also pronounced jin. And turned out there is! And it actually is 眞 which is also read as zhen in Chinese. And when I found out I was over the moon cause 惠真 jus sounded so good. Now idk if I should have chose 珍 as it also is pronounced jin. Actually, I also dk. /: hahah! Hmmm! So my self made Korean name is Ryu HyeJin (류혜신) whn written in hanja its 柳惠眞, in simplified Chinese is 柳惠真. (:

So that hw it is! Keke!

I can't believe I wrote this much on how I got tis Korean name :O

I feel tht there's sort of a need to learn languages. Idk, but to me languages is such a beautiful thing tht is unique to certain group of ppl. And also, the more languages u understand, the more u r able to understand wht ppl is saying w/o askin thm to translate. Lik nw Internet is so resourceful tht it jus require a few search to find wht u want and a few more clicks to understand whatever u r curious abt. However, u cnt learn a language w jus a few clicks so I find it mre impt to learn a language.

But the sad thing is some languages kind of require u to either translate ur name or create a name. Hence I kinda of lik pinky-swear myself tht if I had to make/create a name I will always relate it back to my original name in one way or another. Cause i super duper love my name regardless whether it's English or Chinese :B

So here's a list of my names from all the languages ive learnt. Not lik it's a lot /: keke! But whatever! Haha!

English: Chloe Chan
Chinese: 陈祖惠
Japanese: 恵 チン
French: Chloé Chan

and recently added...

Korean: 류혜진 (Hanja: 柳惠眞)

Hahah! That's all from me! :DD

JYAN!
류혜진

P.s.: LMAO! I was wanting to look if there's a nice title fr this blog post so I was lik hey! Why nt use French! So I went to google translate. Thn u knw wht I gt frm "my name"? See the title :DD HAHAH!