I'm over with love.

Oh gosh! It sure has been long since I last posted a blog. Haha! Has been just super busy preparing for my Mid Semester Tests which is finally OFFICIALLY over! Yeahhhh! :B

Hahaha! In one word, MSTs were OK. They weren't terribly difficult, but for certain subjects it was a tad little hard for me to feel confident for an 'A' but not gonna totally throw the possibility away. :B hoping hard for good enough results so that my GPA can still maintain a 3.6 /:

BUT anyway, it's over already. Do I wanna blog about it? Hmmm. Maybe. But this blogpost isn't about it!

Keke! As you can see from the title, today I'm gonna blog about 2 things that I have just been thinking about..

Well, today was really a bunch of mixed emotions. Like I'm super happy that my last tests for this year is FINALLY over. But on the other hand my heart is kinda sinking hearing that today is the day HE will be enlisting...):

And to say I'm confused is an understatement. I'm more than confused. This is just so bizarre to me! ):

I have no idea how to put it into words... It's like, to put it simply (and painfully) for me, me and him, we don't have an ounce of relationship. Like there's zero conversation between us. Our ONLY ties is the net. And it is pretty obvious that he don't give a hoot about me...

So why? I thought this was enough. The distance, the lack of communication, not "stalking" and all. I thought this were sufficient to flush out all affections I have for him. I sincerely thought so. But if I do really have flushed out all remaining feelings, why the heck am I feeling this disappointed/hurt/IDFK knowing that today is gonna be the last day I might just possibly bump into him.

Does this even make sense? Oh gosh... I feel like banging my head on a wall. It's like CHLOE! You know it is a gone case, you and him! It's useless. Never happening. Why are you still holding on?

Maybe I'm just desperate. ):

This is bad for my heart. Maybe NS will be the ultimatum. No. It HAS to be the ultimatum. I don't think I can keep up with all this highs and low.

I've waited for a good 5 years. It's been half a decade of waiting. I will not wait for another half a decade. I won't allow myself to wait for another 5 years.

I swear. It's over. This time, it's over.

No matter how hard it is, I will do it. This time round, no more excuses, no more compromises. Failure is not an option.

I will succeed.

xoxo
CHLOÉ